Stephen's+Page

My name is Stephen Zurawiecki. I was born in a small town outside of Dallas, Texas. After living in Texas for two years my family moved to Miami, Fl. I only lived in Miami one year before moving to North Caldwell, NJ. North Caldwell is a small town on the western side of Essex County. I went to West Essex High School, which is a small regional school with a graduating class of around 250 people. After graduating from West Essex I went to Arizona State University. I only spent one semester at ASU before transferring to Ramapo. I am the second person in my family to graduate from Ramapo, my father graduated from Ramapo in 1975. While attending Ramapo I studied History and Education. My concentration in History was U.S. History with a focus on 19th Century America and African American Studies. I graduated with a B.A. in History in the spring of 2010, and received my CEAS in Social Studies after completing my student teaching in the Fall of 2010. In addition to studying History and Education, I also played baseball at Ramapo for two years. My playing career ended after I had shoulder surgery. I coached a 11 and under baseball team in the Spring and a 17 and under team in the Summer. I currently work at ECLC, which is a special needs school in Chatham.

Chapter 1. �With more single-parent and dual-income families and fewer extended family members available to support them, families face many challenges in providing optimal care for their children.�

When I was in grade school I suffered from a learning disability, which made school trying every single day and night. When I was in school I didn�t want to be there, and when I was home I did not want to do my school work. There were many times that I would fake being sick just so I would not have to go to school that day. I was never the most organized person when I was young. My teachers tired tirelessly to teach me organization skills that would allow me to succeed in school. When I would get home both of my parents worked full time jobs. It was my older sister who made me do my homework every day after school before I could go play, or watch TV. After I completed my homework I was allowed to watch TV, but reading was something that I despised. When my mom would come home she would make sure that all my homework was done correctly and every night she would help me with my reading.

Having my sister, who eventually went to Columbia University, at home who forced me to do my work, having my mom read to me every night, and having a supportive group of teachers who worked with me to increase me reading and writing skills made all the difference to me. It is unfortunate when children do not have the support they need. Whether that support is from the home, from school, or some other adult, every child needs to have a support system that believes in them. Without this system it would be very difficult for anyone to succeed in their education and they will never be able to realize their full potential.

"Positive interactions between community and family give a sense of security and well-being to all (p. 17)." The need for role models is at an all time high. With parents working full time jobs, some with more than one job, to make ends meet, there is an extraordinarily high need for other people to take the responsibilities of the past that were once reserved for the home. Educators, coaches, community leaders need to given young people the security and well-being that they might not be receiving at home. Even if these people are not from poor homes, the children still require this sense of well-being. For me I was able to find my sense of security through athletics. When I played sports I would follow rules, learn how to be a team player, and learn how to control myself. I excelled at most sports i tired and the coaches working with me teaching me how to be the best player I could be gave me a lot of confidence that continued with me into my school work as I got older.

9/13/11 Week 2 Reflection �The nurturer accepts responsibilities not only for giving basic physiological care, guidance, and love, but for stimulating a child�s investigations of the world and monitoring the child�s social relationships with others (Barbour, p.87).�

It is the job of nurtures of children to meet what Maslow calls his �hierarchy of needs�. These include the basics of food, water, and other bare necessities for survival, but also allowing the child to develop and move up in the needs to self-actualization. The first stage a nurturer must provide is physical safety, which includes not allowing anything to happen to their child that may cause them death, but also allowing them to learn from mistakes that they may make. The second stage is providing love. This stage may seem a natural part of raising a child to many, but many people have their own beliefs on what an appropriate level of love is necessary to provide to their child or children. The last stage of nurturance in promoting esteem, success, and achievement, which according to Barbour, Barbour and Scully, differs greatly among families in how they show and promote esteem support, which makes this level the hardest to explain to some people.

In my life my family raised me in an area on New Jersey that allowed me to not worry about my well being. I did not fear walking around my town at any time of the night. In fact if you were out past a certain hour the police would most likely be called on you for being suspicious. This met my first level of physical safety. Of course there were times I hurt myself and needed love from my parents, but it was those times when I was hurt, either in the woods behind my house or playing sports that the second level of my needs were met. My parents showed me love in many different ways, but mostly by them telling me verbally that they loved me, as well as physical signs of affection, such as hugging and kissing. My esteem was sky high when it came to sports. There was no sport that I was not able to succeed at, and a lot of my esteem and success was derived from my parents showing me how proud they were when I was successful while playing sports. School was a different story, because I had a learning disability. My disability put a very large stain on my family who sometimes did not know how to help me with my school work. Even though my school work was never the best, my paintings were always on the refrigerator next to my sisters work and once I reached middle school/high school my report cards were put on display to show how proud they were of me. It was because of this public display that I could never let my grades fall below a B, or I would not feel comfortable with my report card being displayed for everyone to see.

My family also allowed me to make mistakes that other parents in my area on New Jersey would never be allowed to make. I was allowed to ride my bike all over the town, even on the busiest streets, to go to my friend�s house. As long as I called my parents and told them where I was they had no problem with me riding around town. I had several friends who lived near me who were not allowed to ride their bikes off their block because of the busy street they would have to cross. This is something that differs greatly with my family. As long as I was safe, and was smart when I was crossing my street my parents did not mind where I rode my bike. This allowed me to learn responsibility and how to keep myself safe without my parents.

My life was a little different from your. You talked about walking around and riding your bike in your neighborhood and night, for me it was "danger". I had to be in the house as soon as the street ligths came on. It wasn't always safe to ride my bike, due to busy streets, over- populated parks and it was not enough recreational site for us to play. I mostly played with my friends and sibling in our backyard ( we had a big backyard). I had to become street smart at a very young age, due to the high crimes and drugs in my area. My parents also showed me love verbally and physically and made sure school was first priority. I was impress that your mother was able to trust you and your judgment outside your home. It seem that you had a wonderful childhood. ~Shondell~

Hi Stephen! I too share your response that I could walk in my neighborhood at night and feel safe. I had many neighbors with children my own age and unlike my block today, these neighbors lived in their homes for many years. I also learned how to be independent by walking around town with my friends during the long summer days. When I was younger my brother and I would have to run at least three miles a day. Most of our neighbors knew us and looked out for our safety! I hoped to raise my children in a neighborhood where we all look after each other, unfortunately most families on my block are moving in and out all the time. I even worry on a daily basis because my daughters run track every day and practices require them to run around the town. Carol Bono

Hi Stephen: Although you and I grew up in different countries it seems that we also enjoyed some of the same opportunities and activities as children. Like you, I lived in a very safe neighborhood where I was able to play outside, and walked anywhere in town, and felt safe. In my case, the town that I grew up in was a small town, and everyone knew each other. So, neighbors will watch out, and care for other neighbors' children to make sure that they were safe. But they will also reprimand you, and tell your parents if you misbehaved or did something wrong. Although I did not have a learning disability, I feel that I can identify with your emotions and sense of pride when your parents posted your pictures and report card in the refrigerator even when your school work was not the best. In my case,when I struggled with school work, and did not perform as expected. my parents would also not allowed me to get discouraged, and continued to recognize my hard work, and ecnouraged me to try harder, and to overcome the challenge. Nidieska Tobar Hi Stephen When you are part of a family that shows you support when you really need it, it makes a difference in the decisions you will make when in difficult situations, mainly because your family and the moral values they showed you will always be in your mind. It does not mean that it can give you wealth or not, that is up to the individual's ability to educate themselves and prosper. I have seen some examples in some of my students. Sonnia Estremera Hi Stephen, Our neighborhood is also safe just like yours. I could walk or ride my bike anywhere. I can relate to your struggles with homework and spending more time than your sister to complete it and study for tests. I also have dyslexia and spend more time than my brother to complete homework and study. The one thing my parents taught me which you must have learned from your parents is even with this learning disability and spending more time than others, you can accomplish any goal when you believe in yourself. I learned a lot about myself and about the Special Education system being part of it so, after finishing P-3 certification requirements. I will study further for the Special Education certificate to help the kids and their parents.

Kavya


 * Stephen, in all of your reflections you make very strong connections to the research and your own personal experiences growing up. What I find interesting is the way in which athletics and the arts supported your academic and intellectual growth. This might be a topic worth exploring further. **
 * --Prof. Kunz **


 * Hi Stephen, **
 * I think our upbringings are very similar except your achievement in sports. I was good in track but I was more of a book worm. I got straight A's in high school and the praise my parents gave me came from my report cards. My parents used to display some of my art work when I was younger and always encouraged me to do my best in all activities. I always played outside around my house but i wasnt allowed to roam the city. If i wanted to go to a friends house my mom would pick me up and drop me off. I would say my mom was a little over protective but maybe because i'm a girl. I learned my responsibilities through chores throughout the house and working. **
 * Shahidah **

__** Location of Interview_Over the Phone Interview **__
 * Interviewer’s Name___Stephen Zuraweicki_ Date__9/20/11 **
 * Interviewee’s Initials___JS__ __Gender___Female__ **

**I am a single mother of a 2 year old boy.** **I have one child and he is going to be 2 in a few weeks.** **English is the only language spoken in our home, but my boyfriend does speak Spanish to him when he is around.** **Being that he is so young I want only the best for him. I want him to grow up and be successful in school and in life. I want him to graduate and be a success in whatever he does.** **I have a strict relationship with my son. I expect a lot from him, and he has rules that he must follow and when he does not there are consequences. I am not a push over for him even though I love him very much.** **Every morning we wake up and he eats Cheerios and watches ESPN for a half an hour. After that I take him to day care. He is at day care till 5:30pm, most of the week because I am still in school, and there is no one else who can watch him. After day care we play outside for a little while and then eat dinner, then I read to him and he is off to bed at 8:30.** **Currently I am a student at William Paterson University. I hope to be finished in less than a year from now.** **The day care teacher and I talk every single day. I want to know what is going on with him as much as I can. If there is a problem I talk to the teacher and she lets me know what he has been doing all day. Also, I make sure that any concerns I may have are explained to the teacher.** **I live in North Caldwell, NJ with my parents right now because I am still in school. The town is a small town located in the Western side of Essex County. The town is very safe and I have lived here my whole life, I couldn’t have a better place to raise my boy.** **My highest priority for him, more than my family, is that as a single mom, I want him to have successful relationships when he grows up. I don’t want him to have issues with women the way I have had my issues with men.** **Every day we play outside and I throw baseballs with him, he catches and throws the football, and he can even shoot a basketball, but he can’t dribble in yet.** **The only extracurricular activities are being a 2 year old boy. He loves playing sports and jumping of the couch, bed, basically anything that he can get on. He is very athletic for his age so I will be looking to put him into sports classes as soon as he is old enough.** **No hitting, no biting, no throwing food, no yelling. All of these rules have the time out consequence, with the added consequence that if he yells at me or anyone else I will hit him.** **He is actually really great in public. The only thing that he does in public is run around like a little crazy person. He does not yell, scream, cry, and throw tantrums. When we are at the mall he doesn’t pull any clothes down or anything like that. The only issue is that he is an energetic little boy who likes to run.** **Family time consists of time that I am with him after day care, or anytime my boyfriend is over. During family time I either play with him outside, or the three of us go to the park and walk around, or have a picnic.** **My hopes and dreams are that he becomes successful in everything that he does in his life, and as I said before I really just want him to be able to have successful relationships in his life.** **Right now my two biggest goals are to finish school as quickly as I can so I can get a job. The second is to start saving money when I can, although it is hard going to school full time and having to raise a baby boy, but I am confident I will be able to do it all once I finish school and can get a job.**
 * Parent Interview **
 * 1. **** Are you a parent or guardian of a child? Please explain. **
 * 2. **** How many children do you have? What are their ages? **
 * 3. **** What languages are spoken in your household? Is there a primary language that is used? Please explain. **
 * 4. **** What are some expectations you have for your child? **
 * 5. **** What kind of relationship do you have with your child? **
 * 6. **** What are your household daily routines? Consider your morning, afternoon, and evening rituals. **
 * 7. **** What is your current occupation or profession? **
 * 8. **** What kind of relationship do you currently have with your child’s teacher? How often do you communicate with your child’s teacher? **
 * 9. **** What is your personal view of the school that your child attends? Did you choose this school? **
 * I did choose the day care, but for right now I just wanted, or needed, a place that allowed me to keep him there while I was at school. Also, I wasn't too concerned about the academics of the place just yet. The place he is at now does some work with his basic knowledge, but in the next year or two I will be moving him to a more academic setting. **
 * 10. **** Please describe the neighborhood where you live. **
 * 11. **** What is a high priority for your family? **
 * 12. **** Are you currently involved in any physical activities with your child? Does your child exercise or play sports? **
 * 13. **** Is your child engaged in extracurricular activities? If yes, which ones? **
 * 14. **** What kind of disciplinary strategies do you use at home? **
 * He does not act up much. He normally is a very well behaved boy, but when he does break a rule he sits in time out. He likes to throw food while he is eating dinner. When he starts throwing food, I take him away from the table for a little while and then bring him back. His newest problem is that he likes to yell at people, when he does this I smack him, hard enough that he knows not to yell at people. If there is one thing I will not take is him yelling at people. However, if he ever hits someone I would not hit him, because that would send a mixed message about violence. In that case I will tell him not to hit people and put him in a time out . **
 * 15. **** Give examples of some rules that you have in your home. What are some consequences? **
 * 16. **** How would you describe your child’s behavior in public? **
 * 17. **** What does family time consist of? What do you do as a family during your free time? **
 * 18. **** What hopes or dreams do you have for your child’s future? **
 * 19. **** How are you preparing for your child’s future? **

** I agree with you this mother is in the authoritative parenting style. She need rule in his live ,even he is young she have to prepared for the future. ** ** Sonnia ** Hi Stephen: I also agree that this parent should be commended as she seems to have grown from her experiences in life, and is workiing hard to provide a better future for her son. She is definately an authoritative parent as even for such a young child she already has established rules for him to adhere to, and consequences for misbehaving. Although, I have mixed emotions about what you described from your parent's observations on the situations when she considers that her child is breaking a rule, as I feel that some of his behavior may just be typical of a two year old who just wants attention. Nidieska Tobar
 * Anecdotal Observation of Parenting Style: **
 * Based on what I can tell about the relationship between mother and son, I would put this mother in the authoritative parenting style. I put her there because she is a single mother who lives at home with her parents. She is great with her son and would do anything for him, but still has rules in place that do not allow him to think that he is the center of the earth. I also believe that she is in this parenting style because she does have rules for him even though he is young, including some physical contact as a punishment for yelling at people. She is a single mother who wants the best for her son, and in order for him to achieve everything he can he has to be well behaved. With her parenting style I would have to say that it is working, because I have seen the two of them around town and he is a very well behaved 2 year old, especially in public. **
 * Stephen I commend this parent for raising a son by herself. It's hard going to school and raising an active 2yr old all alone. Even though he does not participate in any sports, she made sure that he did some type of physically activity outside. Her rules that she set at home are age appropriate for son's age. I don't believe any physical punishment but every parent is different. **
 * ~Shondell~ **
 * Hi Stephen **

Wow! a single mom in school! I also commend her. She has the support from her parents and is giving her son a family lifestyle. I agree that she is an authritative parent. She has rules, has

expectations and teaches responsibility. It seems as if he's not in the terrible two stage. The running in public i think is normal.

Shahidah

Teacher Interview- Steve Collins Special Education Teacher-ECLC Chatham Date: 9/27/2011

1. Describe the community where you teach. It is hard to describe the area I teach in because I teach at a private school that deals with special needs children. This is a school where districts send their children when the needs can not be meet in the school district. Chatham itself is an upper middle class are, mostly white, and many of the people who live in the town work in New York City. A major commuter line is just outside of the school about two hundred yards. But the area does to represent who goes to the school. Our student population is around 215 students ranging from the ages of 5-21, from 50 different school districts in New Jersey. The population consists of various socio-economic and ethnic backgrounds. There are students who live in the most rural parts of New Jersey to people living in the most urban areas, and everything in between. We have a wide range of students mainly because of the population being sent to this school from their home districts. 2. How do you increase cultural awareness at your school? We have several multicultural events throughout the year where classes all learn about different cultures and each room takes the responsibility to learn about a culture and create a performance based on what they have learned. The population here is also exposed to many different cultures inside the school and because of this we teach a lot of respect toward others beliefs and explain to them that everyone is allowed to think, believe, and have ideas that are theirs and no one can make them change, nor should they be treated differently. 3. How do you collaborate with parents? I collaborate with parents as much as possible. We normally communicate through email or phone calls. Because this is a special needs school we have the same students for more than one year at a time so we build very strong relationships with the parents in our schools. Most of the time they are good relationships but some times it does happen that the parents are not happy with the school for some reason. Regardless, I always take into consideration what they parents have to say, and any suggestions they may have. The point of this school is to teach these boys and girls life skills, communication skills, academics, and vocational skills that they can use when they leave the school at 21. 4. What are som challenges you face in you classroom? The biggest challenge I face in my class is behavior. Due to the population many of the students have many sensory issues that at any point can set them off and become major distractions to the rest of the class. Out burst in class are not uncommon in a school such as this, and like every school each day is different. One day they could be the best kids in the world and the next day they are screaming and shouting at each other for no reason. The only other thing that is a challenge to me and to many other teachers in this kind of school is the comprehension split in skill. I could have a low- level academic that is amazing at doing jobs and works well with others, while I could have the highest level student who can do everything academic but can not or will not do anything they do not want to do, regardless of how long you try or how nicely you ask. 5. List you top 5 classroom priorities. 1. Respect 2. Social Skills 3. Life Skills 4 . Vocational skills 5 . Academics

Essay Response: “Are There Other Kids Like Me?” Children with a Parent in Prison

The reality that sets in as one finishes this article is that there are children who you will teach in your life time that you will not know everything about them. There are going to be children who have parents who are divorced, a parent who passed away and there are going to be children with a parent who is in prison. The article titled above refers to the ladder. Children who have a parent in prison face a unique issue that many people will never have to deal with. There are the issues of how to talk about where their parent is incarcerated, how to feel about the parent, and who is raising the child while the parent is in prison.

Children, who have a parent in prison, may not know how to deal with the problem of discussing families in class. They may be embarrassed to say that their parent is in prison. This could be because they are embarrassed to tell others, or due to the negative stigma that follows people in prison. Simply because their parent is in prison it does not mean there parent does not love them or that they are not sorry for the time that they have missed with their child. In many cases, studies have been done to show positive results on incarcerated people who have children visit them in prison. Unfortunately, no study has been done to tell what affect this has on the child.

Visits to prisons are normally short, which is preceded by a long time of waiting to see the incarcerated parent. This can cause stress for the child as well as issues with the fact that the visits are informal and in some cases no physical contact is permitted during the visit. Another stressor for children is the lack of time they may see their parent in prison because of distance. Many people in prison are incarcerated more than one hundred miles from their homes, so this causes stress on the child, the other parent, or any other family member who would go to visit the prison. This causes a financial struggle that can result in the child never seeing their parent while in prison.

There are some ways that parents in prison can create ways to build a relationship with their child while they are in prison. The best one presented in this article is the reading program they have set up in the facility. The parent in prison reads books on tape. The tape is then sent to the child so that they can hear their parent’s voice, and learn to read at the same time.

After reading this article the main point that I learned is that when you are an educator every student has their own life. No two students are the same and getting to know your students will allow you as the teacher to guide them and educate each child independently. In addition, those who are in prison and have children face issues the same as their children. Both the parent and the child need to work together in order to build a relationship that will be strong enough to survive at such a far distance. Parents in prison do not have the benefit of seeing their child when ever they want, they have to rely on the other family members to bring the child to prison in order to see their incarcerated parent.

Thanks Stephen! I am curious about how the reading program in the prison works and whether or not it is still being used. If so, and it's successful, this program should be expanded (especially when you consider that 75+% of inmates on average cannot read). -Prof. Kunz