Carol's+Page

> = **September 8, 2011** = = **Chapter 1** = = **__Information from the text__**: = = Page 5 = = In the Coleman(1991) study cited“Children whose parents stress good work habits, punctuality, and task completion tend to do better in school.” = = **__Personal Reflection:__** = = Home was my major influence that impacted my education. My Father is from Naples, Italy. He came to America when he was 17 years old. He could hardly speak English and he was too old to begin school. In addition, neither my mother or father had a father figure of their own. My father’s dad passed away when he was 7 and my mom’s father left the family when she was 1. Both my parents graduated high school and entered the work force. I come from a family of five brothers and one sister. Education was the absolute #1 priority in my family. My parents made it a necessity that every night we sat at the dining room table for an hour and a half and completed homework, 6p.m. to 7:30p.m. If you finished your homework you then had to help your brothers and sister. As stated on page 5 Coleman (1991), “Children whose parents stress the importance of good work habits, punctuality, and task completion carry these traits over into their schoolwork and have greater academic success.” However, this was not the case in my home. My sister always was finished with her homework first, always received great grades, and created beautiful projects. Me, on the other hand, had to read the same sentence three times to understand it, I always needed help on my projects, and received so-so grades. All seven of us had the same strict moral values and we each developed differently. My brother was always late for school and was very disorganized, yet, my other brother was very punctual and very neat. Since I am one of the youngest of seven, I would hear statements from teachers like,”Why can’t you behave like your sister and brother.” I was very talkative. (Maybe that’s why I love being a teacher.) Even though our family had very strong educational expectations, two of my brothers did not care to complete assignments, complete homework, or create interesting projects. However, I was always truly afraid to bring home my report card every marking period. My parents followed the school calendar and knew when the report cards were to be sent home. My parents were a major influence that impacted my education. As stated on page 4, “Parent’s attitudes and feelings toward school will influence their children’s feelings in a similar way.” I tried to be the best student I could to make my parents proud. However, two of my brothers did not. Maybe community and media influences have hindered their learning. = = Carol: = = It is very admirable that both of your parents were inspired by their own strenght and determination to complete their education, and graduated from high school. It is also very inspiring that they made education the first priority for you and your siblings, and that they provided you with the support every night to ensure that you completed your homework, and help each other. I think that just as our students in the classroom that you and your brothers and sister were diverse learners, and that each of you carry the traits and values instill by your parents in your own individual way. In your case, I feel that these values inspired your to work harder towards making sure that you achieved the best results to make your parents proud. = = Nidieska Tobar = = = **Hi Carol,**
 * **Your parents' situation is similar with mine. My father barely finish junior high school due to financial reasons, yet at age 50, he got his honorary doctorate degree. His second elder brother was kicked out of high school, yet he became the richest man in Europe. In fact, the late strongman of China, Deng Xiao Peng, visited him to make business deals with Germany through him. (Henry Ong)**

Hi Carol, What a story you have to tell. It is amazing that your parents put such an emphasis on education. While sometimes such a strong emphasis can hinder a child's will to be educated, I think there is so much good behind it as well. I too had very supportive parents and did all that I could do to make them proud. That sometimes can be quite a weight to carry around as a child which I find now, more than ever, more discouraging for kids. Media and community have definitely hindered education but whether or not they were the influences for your brothers is hard to tell because pressure to be the best can be emotionally trying as well. I don't doubt that you made you parents very proud throughout your education and I definitely think their involvement in your education acted positively to your impression of school and education. Culture and past experiences can be some of the biggest influences to some; sometimes for the better but sometimes for the worse. It definitely looks like those values that your parents passed down to you drove you to be the best you could be not only for them, but for yourself as well. -Amy Lupardi

=**Chapter response for the week of September 16, 2011**=
 * Chapters 2,3,4**

Three ways that families provide nurturance for their children. = = =**“Children need unconditional love and affection from their parents. They also require the security that comes from a safe, familiar environment, a consistent daily routine, and the knowledge that adults expect certain behaviors from them.” Chapter 4 pg.117**=

=__Personal Reflection__=

My parents always provided their seven children with much unconditional love and affection. In addition, I have resided in the same home my entire childhood. Due to the fact that my mother is one of six children, she has had the experience of living with many brothers and sisters. My mother made sure that we had a morning and night time routine. Bathroom time was very organized! We knew we had a limited time in the shower, had to make sure our clothes were in the hamper, etc…Since my father came to America without the ability to speak fluent English, he expected all of his children to excel in school and be excellent readers. I do believe with the quote that "children need a consistent routine" because, for me, it meant that I knew I would get my bathroom time between 7:45 to 8:00 a.m. each and every morning. I also knew what was expected of me every day. For example, dinner was always at 5:00p.m. and bedtime was at 8:00p.m. I never had to worry if dinner was going to be on the table or if I was going to see my siblings. We ate as a family, we did our homework as a family, we completed daily routines as a family. I always felt safe and knew my parents were very concerned with my school grades and daily concerns. Because of their expectations of me, I wanted to get good grades to make them proud. = = = = =**“Children of permissive parents frequently lacked social responsibility and often were not independent” Chapter 4 pg.102**=

=__Personal Reflection__=

I know I am to relate this to my own upbringing, yet, this statement describes my husband’s parents. They came from Sicily when they were 18 years old. They were expecting their first child. They had to move in with my father-in-law’s mother to save enough money to establish a home of their own. They worked full time as the mother-in-law took care of the baby. They totally lacked responsibility as parents. Their first born (not being my husband) did not care about grades or when bad reports came home from school he would just have his grandmother sign them. She couldn’t read English. I bet the teacher wondered why his behavior did not get better. The first born did not have any responsibilities and couldn’t take care of himself. His grandma did everything for him. His parents worked two jobs and by the time my husband was born, they had enough money to rent a nice apartment and worked less hours. Since the family situation changed, my mother-in-law took notice to her son’s progress in school and was so upset to see that he has not completed assignments, did not bring in lunch, and was disrespectful to other schoolmates. His mom is now trying to be authoritative, yet, she could clearly see how permissive she was and what a difference it made on her son’s education.

=**“Most parents do much of their teaching in informal ways; they share their skills, hobbies, and other interests during everyday events and conversations.” Chapter 4**= =**pg.97**=

=__Personal Reflection__=

My father is amazing!! He could build a house from it’s foundation! He could not read or write English very well, yet, he could share his skills of planting, building, and family history. I agree with the text as it states the quote noted above. My dad nurtured his seven children with enriched family history, knowledge of how to produce a variety of garden foods, and the knowledge of home building. He would tell us of the time when Hitler came and took all his family's live stock and produce while he resided in Naples, Italy. Our family learned many life long lessons just from my father sharing his skills, hobbies, and interests!! It's amazing that your parents had seven kids. From your writing, I can you that you have a tight net relationship with your siblings. I strongly agree that parents should create a consistent routine for there child. Naturally occuring family routines provides a predictable structure that guides behavior and an emotional climate that supports early development for a child to an adult.That will make them much more responsible during their life. ~Shondell~

=Henry-
Carol, Your childhood must have been full of life lessons and history through your family stories. It is those lessons that are the most meaningful and not only teach you more about your family but family value as well. Through the stories you have shared I can tell how influential your family has been in your life and how much they mean to you. Nurture comes in a variety of forms and your family seems to have nurtured in a way that helped develop a great sense of family value and character that would later evolve and shape you and your siblings into well-rounded individuals. To top it off, your father seems to be a great role model with a good work ethic that additionally adds to the many life lessons that parents hope to portray to their offspring. My father was and still is a hardworking man. He owns his own business, works very, very hard to provide for my family in addition to volunteers as a Fire/Ambulance and Rescue member. His work ethic alone has taught me lessons that helped nurture my own work ethic. Those are the lessons that, whether intentional, or not, impacted my life in such a way that I'm not sure where I would be without. -Amy

It sounds like your father worked very hard for his family. The ability to build a house is something many people are able to do, and it is not very easy. Many people who come to the United State who do not speak English have a hard time, and many of them understand how important it is for their children to be educated. The life lessons that come from someone who wanted the best for his children Education is one of the best ways to excel in the U.S. Your childhood sounds as if your father wanted the very best for you. This is something my parents wanted from me in my education. Both of my parents were born in the U.S. and do not speak different languages, so they did not face the same problems as your father when he came to this country. However, my fathers parents were the first generation of Polish Americans, born from immigrants who came to the U.S. in 1920 from Poland. They did not allow my father and his brothers to learn Polish, even though it was spoken in his house. They believed that in order to gain all the advantages the U.S. had to offer they needed to know English. They feared that knowing Polish would make them be at a disadvantage because at the time my father was being brought up European immigrants were looked down upon in the country. With parents who believe in their children and support them through all their life's endeavors allow their children the best chance to succeed in life. -Stephen


 * I was also immediately surprised by just how many siblings you have! It seems as though you all have a very close relationship, and this has obviously impacted your upbringing. The fact that your parents were such hard workers supports the argument that children learn from what they see. On a side note, I noticed in your introduction last week that you graduated from Kean University. What years did you attend? This might be why you look so familiar! **
 * --Prof. Kunz **


 * Prof.Kunz, **
 * I graduated from Kean University in May 1995. **
 * Carol **

= =
 * Hi Carol, **
 * Its amazing how many brothers and sisters you have. I tip my hat off to your mom and dad for having such a steady routine. I think children need that structure in order to be successful in school and in the future. I find the students that come into my classroom don't have that structure. When they go home, they sit in front of their tv or do their homework. Their dinner is fast food. When they come to school and the class runs on a schedule and it's structured, some children can't handle that. **
 * Shahida **

=__** Parent Interview for the class on September 24th **__=


 * I conducted this interview with a parent today (Monday) after school.The mother's response is in orange .**

**We only speak English in our home. Me and my husband only speak English.** 4. **What are some expectations you have for your child?** The only expectation for all my children is to go to college!!!!!
 * 1. Are you a parent or guardian of a child? Please explain.**
 * I am a parent of three children. **
 * 2. How many children do you have? What are their ages?**
 * I have three children. Their ages are 10, 8, and 5. **
 * 3. What languages are spoken in your household? Is there a primary language that is used?Please explain.**
 * 5. Wha**t **kind of relationship do you have with your child?**
 * I have a very close relationship with my children. I give them what they need and they are always with me. **
 * 6. What are your daily household routines? Consider your morning, afternoon, and evening rituals.**
 * Well, in the morning, I take the kids to school, then I go to the gym. In the afternoon I try to clean the house and go shopping. **
 * In the evening, we have dinner, do homework, and then off to cheerleading and soccer practice. **
 * 7. What is your current occupation or profession?**
 * Right now I am a part time waitress, yet, I am continuing my schooling to be a nurse. **
 * 8. What kind of relationship do you currently have with your child's teacher? How often do you communicate with your child's teacher?**
 * School just started! I don't know all my kids teachers yet. However, I try to communicate if there is a problem. **
 * 9. What is your personal view of the school that your child attends? Did you chose this school?**
 * I love this school!! I truly believe they they are all about the kids!! It is a public school. My kids are required to go to this school. **
 * 10. Please describe the neighborhood where you live.**
 * My neighborhood is nice. I have no problems with neighbors, **
 * 11. What is a high priority for your family?**
 * Family comes first!! No matter what!!! **
 * 12. Are you currently involved in any physical activities with your child? Does your child exercise or play sports?**
 * My son ,age 10, does soccer, my daughter, age 8, does cheerleading, and my youngest, age 5 does dancing school. **
 * 13. Is your child engaged in extracurricular activities? If yes, which ones?**
 * Yes, boy scouts and girl scouts. **
 * 14.What kind of disciplinary strategies do you use at home?**
 * I have my kids take time outs or I take away video games or computer time. **
 * 15. Give examples of some rules that you have in your home. What are some of consequences?**
 * School is very important in our household. Homework is always first. If my kids do not at least TRY and do their best in school they will not be permitted to use their video games or the computer. **
 * 16. How would you descibe your child's behavior in public?**
 * That depends where we are. If they do misbehave it is because they fight amongst themselves!!! **
 * 17. What does family time consist of? What do you do as a family during your free time?**
 * We eat dinner as a family. We like to do any activity together as a family, like having movie night at home or spending time with cousins. **
 * 18. What hopes or dreams do you have for your child's future?**
 * I want all my children to have a college degree!!!! **
 * 19. How are you preparing for your child's future.**
 * My husband and I try to save "some" money for them. Even though we don't have much we keep telling them. "They are going to college no matter what!!!!!" **


 * Anecdotal Observation of Parenting Style:**
 * I interviewed a mom that I believed to be around Forty and well kept. Her hair always looks as if she stepped out of a salon and she asks her daughter about her school day every afternoon.**
 * She even asked to be class mom on the third day of school. I also noticed that her daughter arrives at school each morning with her hair in braids and jacket/sweater buttoned/zipped to the top. She even had her school folder laminated by Staples on the first day of school. The child was quite talkative during our penmanship lesson last Friday and I explained to her that she might get a black dot next to her name (three dots and you get an "X" on your behavior chart) if she does not be quiet. She was extremely upset and sat with her hands folded on the table. This is kindergarten, we don't have desks. I felt that her mom would be very interested in participating in my survey. I was right. I decided to ask the mom my questions outside as her three children played on the play gym. I did have my notebook and asked her if it was alright that I write down her answers because I will forget them. She was relaxed and did not mind discussing my questions. However, I did notice that she continuously watched her children as she answered my questions.**
 * From my observations and the survey answers, I believe this mom to be an authoritative parent. I believe her to be, "Controlling and demanding but warm, rational and receptive to the child's communication" (pg. 102 ch4) In addition, by her answers she states, "Set standards whereby responsible behavior is rewarded and unacceptable behavior is punished" (pg.103 ch4) She clearly says that as a punishment, her children will not play their video games or use the computer. A permissive parent probably would not have any consequences for bad behavior. Also, she stated that," They are going to college no matter what!" She clearly shows that she has, "high demands for achievement"(pg.103 ch4) I feel that her parenting style as an authoritative parent is one to be admired. She has her children enrolled in sports and activities that make them responsible and she exposes them to the idea that they must study hard to be enrolled in college in the future. I agree with our text that "As far as parenting in a contemporary society is concerned, the authoritative style seems to be most effective in preparing children for school expectations as well for later positive outcomes" (pg 103 ch4) Her daughter has her home work and class work completed daily and she always wants to do her best!! What more can a teacher ask for?**


 * Hi Carol, **
 * Our interviewee were somewhat similar. Their expectations for their children is family first and to go to college. I am impressed that your interviewee children are very involve in physical activities and extracurricular activities. It's very healthy to keep your children active due to the growing numbers of childhood obesity in America. **
 * ~Shondell~ **

Carol,

I like it when parents tell their children ''You are going to college no matter what". They are showing hope, determination and challenge at the same time. That builds a strong encouragement and it plants the idea that success is most of the time followed by hard work.

-Maria Esperanza

- **Stephen**
 * The parent you interview seems to be a mom who really cares for her children. Your would always like to think that parents put their children and family first, but some do not. After reading what you have said about this women it seems as though she is a very good mother, and does what is necessary to make sure her children grow up in a family that is secure and well behaved. It is interesting to hear that her goals are for her children to go to college. The mom I interview also wanted her son to go to college, and to graduate. Your analysis of her parenting style seems to be exactly what I would have chosen based on the answers she gave you. You can also tell something interesting about parents who truly care for their children. What gave this away for me was in your response you mentioned that she was looking at her children playing while you answered your question. This show me that she is aware of what they are doing, and making sure that they are safe. I think the women you choose is a very good mom, and with her rules and consequences for breaking rules does match the authoritative parent. I found that it was hard to put one specific parenting style based on the questions asked, and watching her reactions, but I think you made some great observations and chose the right category for this particular mom. Based on what your mom said I would have to change my category for the mother I interviewed to an in between authoritarian and authoritative. **


 * Assignment for October 1st**


 * Teacher interview**


 * 1.Describe the community where you teach.**

I teach in a suburban community with middle class families.


 * 2.How do you increase cultural awareness at your school?**

We celebrate all holidays and discuss the differences among them.

3.How do you collaborate with the parents? Can you give some examples?

I communicate with parents via e-mail, notes, and/or phone calls. I also have a parent information board located outside of my classroom.

4.What are some challenges you face? Behavior? How do you deal with it?

Some challenges are parent denial either with academic or behavioral issues. There are the usual behavior problems. I have a traffic light and marble jar as a way of dealing with classroom management. I also have the support of my director if needed when dealing with parents.

5.List your top 5 classroom priorities?

1. teaching the children how to read

2. social growth

3. emotional growth

4. getting the children to follow the rules

5. parental involvement and support

10/03/2011


 * __ My reflection of the article “Are There Other Kids Like Me?” by Clopton & East. __**

The purpose of this article is to enlighten the reader about what children with a parent in prison may have to deal with on a weekly basis (family), ways an educator can help a child with a parent in prison (school), and the fact that many children may have to move to a new environment (community).

This article enlightened me about the effects of children who have a parent in prison. I never thought about how alone a child must feel in school knowing that no one else has a parent in prison. In addition, I did not realize that this child may have to move in with someone else, live in a new neighborhood, and attend a new school just because he/she has a parent that has been incarcerated. I also found it intrguing that when the mommy went to prison, most likely the child went to live with a foster family or grandparents, yet, when the dad went to prison, the child most likely stayed with the mom. It was also interesting to read about how difficult it is to communicate with an incarcerated parent. As the article states, “Families may have to travel long distances, long waits before visitation, phone contact from prison is expensive, and the caretaker may not be willing.”

As an educator, I feel that it is important for students to feel secure and eager to learn each day. Reading this article has led me to believe that I need to be aware that when students act out or cannot conform to daily school routines, that it may be due to an issue at home. I think it is a great suggestion to have books about having parents in prison in the classroom and read them to the class. This article clearly states that children may not even tell the teacher that his/her parent is in prison. “Children may worry about how to answer questions about their incarcerated parent or in some cases they have been told not to share the information”

This article relates to this course in many ways. A child with a parent in prison may have to move to a new town because he/she has to live with a different caretaker (community), the child may not talk about his/her situation in school (school), and there may be no support at home to complete homework/projects (family). I can see how this situation directly affects the social settings of the family, school, and community. I can also see that, as stated from the article, “Educators need to be aware of the issues associated with parental incarceration.”

This article successfully shows the common relationship between school, family, and community and it’s importance on the student who has a parent in prison.

Hi Carol As an educator I never thought that I can have books that focus on families in prison. I guess as a teacher, I was afraid to cover that kind of topic in my classroom. But little did I know, it was affecting one of my students in my class. His behavior was poorly portrayed and he really didn't care about work. Later that year he accidentally told me that his dad was in prison and mom did not want him to tell anyone in school. He confided in me and I was the one that should have made him feel safe and secure. The good thing about it is that he was living with his mom and didn't has to relocate from school.

~Shondel

Carol It is very important for educators and I include myself, to know about the many resources available to learn more on how to deal with students and families facing the problem of a incarcerated parents. A couple of years ago I experienced a kindergarten who was freaking out in class, when I tried to make this 4 year old pay attention so he could stop acting crazy, I said "I am going to call your Dad right now". He answered hysterically ' I DON'T CARE... MY DAD IS IN JAIL". -Maria Esperanza Gil

Hi Carol: It is certain that there is a direct correlation between the impact that this situation can have on these children and their caregivers on their socail settings, the family and the school. For the kids just coming to terms with not being able to grow up with one of the parents, and having to deal with mature feelings such as rejection from others, isolation, sadness, and even in some cases guilt can be very detrimental to their focus and performance in school. For the caregivers who need to continue to maintain a stable home life for these kids, while dealing with their own feelings can also be a very difficult and stressful situation. So, I think that as educators we have a responsibility to support these kids through their diffcult times, and we need to continue to remain informed on the most appropriate way to show our care, concern and support. I think that by doing so we can make a difference in these families' lives, and provide a better outcome for these kids' future. Nidieska Tobar

**Carol: **

**I agree, as an educator we need to look for books to help the children with the trauma in witnessing the arrest of a parent with special children who have emotional behavior or depression. I have a melancholy feeling about these situations where the children do not live with the parents but in a foster home. These children are at a greater risk of having poor academic skills and low self-esteem. **

**Sonnia **

** Hi Carol ** ** I agree with you when you say this issue affects the home, school, and community. Economically and emotionally it can affect the family. Behavior issue may arise in the school and the community. I feel it's such a touchy situation to discuss with students. I would have to feel comfortable myself before discussing it with my students. ** ** Shahidah **

Carol, In your discussion, you were able to connect the article to the school, community, and family. Considering all three factors related to having a family member in jail is quite important. The article exposes some situations that must be dealt with. These affect everyone involved: students, families, teachers, etc. --Prof. Kunz